In the wake of the shooting in Nashville, I am deeply saddened. Not only of the horrific tragedy but how society and our “leaders” are acting in response to it. I'm disgusted by all the politicians immediately spewing gun control rhetoric while the bodies were still warm. I’m appalled by our president laughing and joking during a press conference while he was supposed to be addressing the tragedy. I'd like to say I'm surprised but I'm not.
The problem we have in this country is not a gun problem. Guns have been around for over 100 years and these things didn't happen. The problem is us as a society. The majority want to believe everyone and everything is ok until it's not. There is no accountability for people's actions. And when horrible things like this happen, they want to blame an inanimate object instead of holding the individual accountable.
It's easy for each side to blame the other but the truth is, it's everyone's fault. We as a society allowed it to get this way. Banning guns will only cause more violence and crime. Arming everyone will only lead to more firearm-related accidents. We all know people that have no business owning guns. So what do we do?
In looking into shootings ranging from the ’60s until now, I made an observation. Of all the shooters since the '60s, only about 4% are female, and 96% were male. What do the majority of that 96% have in common? The vast majority were weak men. They were often picked on and never taught how to deal with rejection, negativity, or violence perpetrated against them. I’m reminded of the saying "hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times." It's obvious to see where we are at this point in history. We need more strong men. Strong men are protectors of those that cannot protect themselves. Strong men are those that put the needs and safety of others before themselves. So how do we create strong men? There is a push in our current society against masculinity but that is a mistake. Masculinity is a cornerstone of strong men. Remember strong men are protectors. What we should be pushing is strong masculinity and against toxicity. Toxicity exists in both men and women. It manifests out of greed and a hunger for power and control. The two are not the same. Fixing our societal problems starts with our children. We need to teach them that there are winners and losers in life, and that is ok. There are people in this world that are so insecure with themselves or their lives that they feel the need to pick on others to feel better about themselves. Don’t get upset by these people, feel sorry for them. They wasted time out of their day to make you feel as bad as they do in their own life. There is a saying that I teach my children to help them remember this, “the brighter you shine, the more shadows you cast.” We need to teach our children not to judge anyone by the way they look or talk but rather by the content of their character. And finally that it’s ok to fail, so long as you learn from it. Because if you learn from it, then it’s not a failure. We need to instill confidence in our children. The things outlined in the previous paragraph are a great start, but only a start. There are things we as parents can do to inspire our children to want to succeed. My favorite that has proven extremely effective with all four of my children has been a change in how I give praise. I don’t push them to strive for my praise but rather to be proud of themselves. Let me explain. My oldest son got an A on his assignment and emphatically ran over to me when I got home to show me. He was looking for me to praise him and tell him I was proud of him. I didn’t. Instead, I said “wow are you proud of yourself?” He stood there for a second thinking about what I had just asked and said “yes I am”. To that, I replied “good, because you should be, and I’m proud of you for being proud of how you did.” After about the third time responding this way to him, he started striving to be proud of the work he did instead of seeking my or his mother's praise. Not just in school but in every aspect of his life. And it’s worked just as well with my other three. A wise man told me, “there is no need to be upset about something for longer than 2 minutes. If something is upsetting you, ask yourself a question. Do I have the ability to change the situation that is upsetting me? If the answer is yes, then concentrate your energy on that solution. If the answer is no, take your 2 minutes then let it go and move on. To wallow in something we have no control over is nothing more than wasted energy.” I was a teenager when he told me this. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. The more I implemented it, the more productive I became. We can all benefit from this lesson. It’s not easy to implement but the more you do it the easier it gets until it becomes a normal reaction. I know I went on a bit of a rant here but I needed to get this all out. We need to have legitimate, realistic, and civil conversations to work through our issues. No more all-or-nothing bullshit. Our republic was founded on freedom. Not forcing one side or the other to believe a certain way. We as a society need to do better.
-Tech
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